Psychologists says that blogs writing, to a certain extent, have a relaxing effect, especially if the tensions arriving from some issues gets released out, and the initially healthy state of the mental mind is restored.
So, it’s Mummy Eliz attempt to unplug some stress, before the brain gets shrink up in tension to the size of a raisin. It’s emotionally draining, and it’s not the kids, for the kids, at least there is a future in store, a time when independence descends, and they will rise to the challenges of the future.
Mummy Eliz might not even be fit to talk about it [as she does not need to face Granny Agatha 24/7], but the mere mention of Granny Agatha’s name bring so much tension to every single cell of her body. *two drops of tears*
With no doubt, Granny Agatha loves her children, and her grandchildren, but for the most part of Granny Agatha’s life, she allows herself to be sucked into this downward spiral, bringing along everyone in her immediate family, together with her.
She had been a sufferer of depression since her teens, and when one is around a depression sufferer long enough, one remembers no joy upon the mere mention of her name.
Yes, it might be a chemical imbalance, it might not be entirely her fault that she has depression. Perhaps she is so used to feeling depressed that she’s not capable of feeling any other way.
Mummy Eliz cannot forget, cannot let go, you would need to be in her shoes in order to understand or even feel a portion of her pain. And honestly, even if Granny Agatha passes away, in time to come, the pain also cannot be forgotten.
In short, Granny Agatha lacks resilience, when setbacks come her way; she slips into depression instead of facing it head-on. In her life, there are alway people to clear up her mess, help her, so she never gets the chance to develop any resilience. *another 2 drops of tears*
Life for the older generation is never easy, in fact, many led the same quality of life, but never ran away from its realities, yet Granny Agatha can sleep for months at a go, letting everything fall.
In order for a child to stay close to his/her family, there has to be a pull factor from the family. In our case, there was a pull factor from outside, and a PUSH factor from within. And it was why Mummy Eliz had to stay away for a period of time.
And Uncle John was even placed in a boarding school for a period of time, as Granny Agatha’s many episodes of depression left him uncontrollable, and aunties and cousins from the extended family had to intervene. *Mummy Eliz was so envious he could leave the family for a while, to at least have the positive influence of people, and let something good influence his growing mind*
Mummy Eliz hold hope, hope that Granny Agatha can change and lead a normal life, and it’s exactly this hope that is making her so sad, perhaps if she can accept that Granny Agatha would never change, and it would be easier.
GREAT! It works; Mummy Eliz ends this blog feeling that it’s all just part and parcel of her own cross to carry, and regained some strength. It’s off to another new day.