“If a child feels right, they act right”

This point is hard to remember, but certainly it is a point well made.

“Kids, like plants have needs. If a plant is wilted yellowed and dying, it does not matter how much I yell at it and cuff it around the buds, it’s not going to get better. It requires repotting or fertilizing or watering or something.

The same is true for kids. One of the basics of parenting is that if a child feels right, they act right. If a child is constantly misbehaving and causing problems, then you need to get the bigger picture. The behavior is a symptom of something not right. That does not mean you automatically excuse or ignore the behavior – you deal with it – but you look for the underlying symptom. Quite probably they have an unmet need, or they think that they are at risk of not having their needs met.

When a child feels understood and their feelings acknowledged and dealt with effectively, then the problem behavior will often go away.”

- Extracted from Dr Burton White’s Harvard research