Reading "Raising Babies" by Steve Biddulph

Mummy Eliz is a member of http://groups.yahoo.com/group/asiaparents/.

The group is for Expectant Parents, New Parents, and most importantly Experienced Parents (whether 1 mth or 10 yrs!) to share their problems & their "tried tested" experiences.

Topics for discussion can range from Pregnancy, Preparing for Parenthood, Breastfeeding, Childcare and Parenting in general.

With more than 2000 members, more than 100 messages are exchanged on a daily basis.

With only half an hour online time each day, Mummy Eliz tends to take mental snapshots of the messages with speed reading techniques, and then process the information afterwards.

Some thought-provoking exchanges that stay on in the mind for a long time afterwards are as follows:

On raising of a child

"Reading "Raising Babies" by Steve Biddulph, the research shows that babies thrive best on one-on-one care with a loving and responsive caregiver. In normal circumstances, this would be the mother since a mother is hormonally wired to mother and to respond and to nurture, the optimal combination to grow a baby's brains and to build strong confident secure characters.

But here, today, this role has largely been subsumed by maids/childcare centers. Tellingly, the headlines these days have given us inkling - more children being depressed, more children seen at IMH etc. Some time ago, there was a study conducted here in Singapore that showed the link between early institution care and a higher incidence of childhood mental illness i.e. anxiety, depression, stress etc. Why? Is it the changing social landscape? Are their needs being met? What are their needs? Who is meeting them? Sure, we can lay the blame at the door of the education system, peer pressure etc.

And while these may be trigger points, they may not necessarily be the root cause.

Maybe, just like we have a protocol for optimum infant feeding, (i.e. number 1 is direct breastfeeding for baby, #2 is baby takes mom's ebm, #3 is donor ebm and #4 is formula), we should have a similar protocol in baby and child care at home, where the optimum should be #1 care by mother, #2 care by member of extended family, #3 care by babysitter/maid and #4 institution care i.e. infant care, childcare centers etc.

Ref the issue of 'no choice', well, I think everyone has a choice.

It’s a question of how much we're prepared to work at it, to sacrifice to make it work, etc. And usually, it always boils down to the financials. Money/Self Needs vs. Baby/Child's Needs. It sounds like such a crude choice, but often, when distilled right down to the essence, this is often what it is.

It is not up to any of us to say what choice is right or what choice is wrong or to cast aspersions on women who make different choices.

There is no 'better' or 'worse' decision. The grass always looks more attractive on the other side of the fence. We just make our own informed choices, do the best we can - whether we work full-time and farm out baby to maid/childcare or give up a job to stay home with a child or any other balancing act we can creatively think of. "

Chelsea's BDay Party w/ Poly Frenz

Memories of tertiary years filled with carefree laughter and senseless teasing seemed to belong to the distant past, and Mummy Eliz was glad to relive memories of it at a gathering.

Princess Chelsea also had an advance celebration of her 3 year old birthday at Coffee Bean with the gang.

Princess Chelsea noticed Sharon’s bulging belly, and at night, while lying in bed, moments before falling asleep, asked innocently.

Chelsea: “Does Sharon still love me, now that she’s pregnant?”

And thankfully the answer was a resounding yes [A prompt sms reply from Sharon confirmed it].

~ Daddy Tiong with a tired Christian ~

~ Our family ~

~ Thank you Siew Mei for entertaining Chelsea for almost an hour; she certainly enjoyed your company. ~

~ The 4 lovely ladies. Thank you Yvonne for sponsoring the lovely cake ~

~ Thank you Francis for passing us the digital copies of the pictures taken ~

~ Mummy’s God-Pa & God-Bro pretending to be gays ~

VIP tics to Dora's Pirate Adventure LIVE!

Congratulations! You have won a set of 3 VIP tickets to Dora the Explorer LIVE! Dora's Pirate Adventure - reads the email subject line.

Our whole family was so thrilled that all the effort paid off.

We were asked, why try so hard at this online voting contest, when one could actually purchase the tickets from SISTIC.

Well the answers are as follows:

- Mummy & Daddy belonged to the typical sandwiched generation, with higher priority financial obligations to fulfill, thus creative effort had to be channel to get things on our wish-list.

- This is not a lucky draw, where luck plays a huge part in the possibility of winning, this is a voting contest.

- It is an attitude of trying our best. Then even if we do not win, we lose knowing we tried our best.

- Last but not least, there is an exclusive Meet & Greet Session before the show for the winners.

To all of you out there who voted for us, who helped us lobby for votes. If you voted, thank you so much once again. If you felt irritated by our constant nags, we offer our sincere apologies.

Dora, here we come!

PS:

To Princess Chelsea, this is Mummy’s way of compensating you; you waited with Mummy patiently for the owner of the lost phone we found; only to discover that because of the wait, we missed a huge portion of the free Dora Show at United Sq.

You had difficulties holding back your tears, and that was the first time you were introduced to the meaning of the word ‘disappointed’.

Daddy certified as Proj Mgmt Professional

Mummy Eliz is really proud of Daddy Tiong; besides managing to perform his duties as a son, brother, daddy & husband to near perfection, he also got certified as a Project Management Professional by passing a 4 hours computerized test today.

National Museum disappointment

The National Museum was a disappointment to Mummy Eliz on Vesak Day.

Our last two trips there, on Public Holidays like Christmas, were enjoyable as there were kids’ activities like the making of 3D Christmas Trees, and free entry to all the galleries.

But on Vesak Day, not only was there no kids activities organized, there was also no free entry to the galleries.

Nevertheless, Princess Chelsea still enjoyed herself at the Toddlers Playground and the magnetic wall, mainly due to her having the companionship of Jaime, a gal who is 1 week younger.

~ Jaime generously sharing her honey stars with Chelsea ~

~ Posing for a pic with Jaime ~

~ Fooling around at the Magnetic Wall area ~

~ Pretending a funnel to be a hat ~

PS:

Honestly there should be better publicity on when the public can enjoy free entry. However, we did discover that from 6pm – 8pm on weekdays, there is free entry.

WorldofKids – Music+Drama+Dance

Princess Chelsea’s need for an afternoon nap resulted in us being more than an hour late for the NAC-ExxonMobil Concert in the Park WorldofKids – Music+Drama+Dance event at Bishan Park.

We missed most of the performances and fringe activities for kids. Luckily Princess Chelsea managed to catch a story-telling session about a pretty lady’s adventures around the world.

Disappointment consumed Princess Chelsea’s face, as she watched other kids having fun with kites they made. Luckily Auntie Annabella came to the rescue by loaning us a kite. Princess Chelsea then had fun playing with Anselm.

~ A really disappointed Chelsea needing some consolation fm Mummy dearest ~

~ Watching with envy, the kites flying high ~

~ The Seah Family's 2 cheeky boys ~

~ Thank God for nice boys like Anselm, who pretended to be the wind flying the kite Chelsea was holding ~

PS:

Mummy Eliz just discovered that Auntie Annabella’s youngest sister happened to be her friend from the good old times. It’s a small world indeed.

Puppet Show - Tales fm the Workshop

Our first arts appreciation experience at the Esplanade Theatre Studio is watching Tales from the Workshop (Ireland) by Your Man's Puppet.

A unique blend of storytelling and puppetry that tells the tale of what really happens in the workshop. We watched as the puppets come alive, talk of their lives and beg tales from their friend the storyteller.

In this funny, active and participatory show, the artists unfold the secrets of their crafts. The part Princess Chelsea enjoyed most was the close-up interactions with the puppets after the show.

~ Princess Chelsea posing sweetly for a pic with the puppet ~

~ With Chloe Jie Jie ~

~ With Cayden Di-Di ~

PS:

Thanks to Auntie Ling for arranging for our group to view this show.

"Let kids overhear nice things you say.”

“If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others.”

- Haim Ginott

Latest family past-time

Sung to the tune of the popular children’s song "雪人不见了".

"弟弟不见了
弟弟不见了
弟弟在哪里? 在这里
弟弟不见了"

~ “Hey, you all certainly love to bully me right?
Wait till I grow up.” ~

~ Prince Christian trying to throw out the balls
before they bury him! ~

Home Exploration Topic: Habitats

On one sunny afternoon, trapped at home by the hot sun.

Mummy: “Habitats of birds?”

Chelsea: “Nests in trees.”

Mummy: “Frog?”

Chelsea: “Ponds.”

Mummy: “Lions?”

Chelsea: “Zoo and Night Safari.”

Honestly, Mummy was expecting the answer of jungles as the answer for the last question. But Princess Chelsea is not entirely wrong either. For some lions, especially those born in the captivity, the only habitat they might know for the whole of their lives might really only be the Zoo.

Doraemon Meet & Greet Session

Forgot to add, after the tennis trial, we whizzed off to catch Doraemon who is touring around Singapore. He is stopping by a store in Toa Payoh, and since he would be so near, of course we would not give it a miss.

~ Princess Chelsea giving him a huge squeeze! ~

Home Exploration Topic: Amazing You!

A great book find we found in the local library.

Extract from Amazon.com.

This upbeat picture book, illustrated with sunny cartoon drawings, introduces kids to basic reproductive physiology. Offers simple, accessible definitions of terms, accompanied by pictures of unclothed kids and labeled diagrams of internal organs. Subsequent drawings show three stages of body development from baby to young adult, followed by an abbreviated explanation, illustrated with a heart-shaped drawing of a smiling egg and sperm, of reproduction:

"When a man and a woman love each other and decide that they want to have a baby, a man's sperm joins with a woman's egg. From the egg and sperm, a baby will grow."

The book is more specific about birth:

"The baby will come out of the mother's vagina, which is very, very stretchy."

Saltz presents the information clearly in a cheerful, positive tone, encouraging kids to learn about their private parts and reassuring them that curiosity and touching themselves (in private) is natural.

~ Book cover of Amazing You ~

Princess Chelsea loves this book, and it sparked off many interesting discussions.

A ridiculous discussion follows:

Chelsea: “I want Daddy’s sperms when I grow up.”

Mummy: “Why?”

Chelsea: “I do not have a penis or testicle, so I will not have sperm.”

Mummy: “After you get married, you can get it from your husband.”

Chelsea: “I only want Daddy’s sperms.”

Mummy: “If Daddy gives you his sperms, then it would be incest.”

Chelsea: “Then I want incest.”

Mummy Eliz was stunned, so Daddy Tiong comes to the rescue.

Daddy: “Daddy’s sperms are all for Mummy as we are married.”

Chelsea: “If Mummy takes all your sperms, then I would not have any.”

And sadly, with a crunched up face, Princess Chelsea started crying.

Chelsea: “But I really want a baby… …”

PS:

It is one thing understanding the mechanics of reproduction, another huge lesson is needed to teach the morality of it.

Princess Chelsea fully toilet-trained day-time

Princess Chelsea last day-time accident was on 10 April 2008.

Her toilet training process, which started around the time she turned 1 year old, encountered a premature unintended death, as it was overtaken in importance by Mum’s pregnancy, delivery, confinement, and then the start of her Deerland Montessori playgroup.

And upon her request last month, she was taken off diapers day-time. And come 10 May 2008, she would be accident free for a full month.

This time round, it is certainly not a training process, more of a child-initiated transition. Certainly worth a mini-celebration.

Playgroup date @ Tots Tennis

Princess Chelsea had a mild attack of separation anxiety at the start of the Tennis Trial Session @ Tots Tennis. She came running right after Mummy Eliz the moment she was spotted leaving the indoor tennis court.

Like all impatient toddlers craving action, she was bored by the warm-up exercises, but enjoyed the hitting of the balls using the rackets later on.

The fun got her warmed up, and she requested to go back again.

~ A handsome coach guiding Princess Chelsea how to use the racket; see how sweetly she is smiling! =) ~

~ With all the 7 kids in the trial class today, from left, Kynan, Kayla, Malcolm, Anton, Cayden, Chloe, and finally Princess Chelsea ~

~ A group photo before leaving the premises ~

PS:

Well, the trial was not too bad, the coaches look great but the fee is certainly too hefty for consideration.

Science Ctr visit w/ Pu Zheng

There is a nice little boy named Pu Zheng, just 4 mths older then Princess Chelsea, staying 3 doors away, his family recently relocated from HK, and his dad still works in HK.

The two kiddos used to attend playgroup together, and are pretty close friends. His mum, in an attempt to expose him more to English, decided to place him in a childcare.

Princess Chelsea certainly misses him, thus a trip to Science Ctr was organized for them. And they certainly had great fun!

~ Princess Chelsea with neighbor, Pu Zheng ~

Celebrating Mother's Day

"A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie."

-Tenneva Jordan