A 3rd child was never in the plans, but Daddy Tiong and Mummy Eliz were already taking a second look at names beginning with ‘Ch’.
Mummy Eliz had her last menses mid-January. Given that she was tandem-nursing both kids, her menses were pretty irregular.
It was only late last week that her pregnancy was confirmed by a home pregnancy test kit, thus it was not too sure how old the embryo was; it could be around 8 weeks or so.
It could Mothers’ Instinct, right from the start, even before using the home pregnancy test kit; Mummy Eliz could feel that something was not too right; it was a feeling that a loss would be imminent. Well it was sad that her instinct was right.
After spotting for days, early Sunday morning, she felt contractions, and by Sunday morning, the whole embryo in its placenta [about the size of a tomato] was delivered in the home toilet [would the usage of the word delivered be suitable in this case?].
An urgent trip to KKH was made, and the ultra-sound scan confirmed that the womb is now empty, except for a think lining of blood that is slowly being shed.
A high HCG level in the blood and urine indicated the now-absent presence of a previously growing embryo.
Mummy Eliz is resting at home now, and would need to return to KKH in two days to monitor if the shedding of the thick lining is in proper progress.
She is feeling weirdly numb now, and that could be a way of self protection.
The doctor said that even if we did a million dollars worth of tests, we could only get clearer speculations, but never 100% confirmations. Auntie Adeline said that the best thing to do now is not to question why this happened. Auntie Sau Wan said to rest well and be at peace.
Mummy Eliz wants to look forward, and move on, but is totally unsure as to whether she wants to talk about the loss. Would talking about it be better? Or would pretending that nothing ever happened be better? Could anyone who had been in a similar position give some valuable advice?
In a desperate attempt to remain positive, this undesirable incident did made Mummy Eliz’s life richer in a way; and in a certain way, she would be able to appreciate her lively kids more.
6 comments:
I have one such experience too. I'm really thankful for my gynae, Dr Paul Tseng.
He told me that with women who have already given birth before and are very aware of our body, we know it when we are pregnant. And of course, also know it when we lost it.
He said actually it is very common to go thru' such 'miscarriage', cos the embryo is probably not healthy and its our body and nature's (God's) way that such happen.
For those who are not that aware of their body, for all you know, they may have gone thru' such without even knowing, and thought they simply had menses.
HUGS...
Lost for words, though I have not went through what U have been, and can't give you any advise. But being a mother now, I can feel the ache of losing it. Now rest well, and your two darlings will cheer you up eventually... :)
So sorry about what happened... may the Good Lord comforts you and gives you strength and hope with this song...somehow
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUDMttAT-Mg&feature=related
Giving the experience that I had just loss my close kin of 21 years, I myself hope that I could have someone talked to me and facing it through together.
Somehow, most of the people prevented to bring out the topic, even my husband, afraid that I could not face it. However, I slowly came to know that the more you avoid it, the more you will put in your heart and it will not go away.
I wish that you could strongly face it. You would then really able to know that the existance of your princess and prince is so wonderful and will treasure them more.
Stay cheers and happy with your princess, prince and your king too.
sorry to read about your loss. I've been silently reading your blog, and I sense your loss. I had one similar experience and my gynae and friends too tell me that it's probably not developing well and it's best for the incident to happen. Rest well, and grief over if you feel you need to. Time heals ... take care.
ezmum, SB, sharon, elita, KY, thx for the post =)
i m slowly facing up to the loss, and most days, most times, i m fine, except when the nite is deep and quiet, and all are asleep except me, then my mind would wonder wild.
and yes, elita, talking about it does help.
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